3 Songs: On the Magic of Skin-Tight Denim

I found myself listening to these tunes today, and the theme provoked a new series I’ll call “3 Songs.”

In this installment, I present three odes to a subject that inspires and impassions many. Add them to your playlist and wiggle into your tightest Wranglers, Dittos, or Jordaches A.S.A.P.

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Dr. Hook – Baby Makes Her Blue Jeans Talk

This disco-inspired rock tune is irresistible, but the video is incredible. I mean that in both senses of the word—marvelous and preposterous. The concept: Lovely lady takes an evening stroll and her rear end incites raised eyebrows, gaping mouths, and googly eyes from men, women, and dogs alike. Nowadays this kind of behavior would put Dr. Hook on the receiving end of a sexual harassment lawsuit. But apparently overt and incessant ogling from a man with an eye patch was “cool” in 1982.


Mel McDaniel – Baby’s Got Her Blue Jeans On

Though the story line is essentially the same, Mel McDaniel’s approach isn’t as brazen as that of the Dr. Hook duo. Thanks for the empathy, Mel. I feel like you understand our plight.


Conway Twitty – Tight Fittin’ Jeans

I have an affinity for Conway Twitty for several reasons: he’s a music legend, he was a smooth talkin’ S.O.B., he had a killer head of hair, and he was from Arkansas. My mom is a proud Arkansan and, with all the insults and jokes hurled at the Natural State, we like to show solidarity with its successes.

As much as Twitty was a smooth balladeer, he was responsible for selling country as “adult” music, slipping sexually suggestive lyrics into his catchy C&W ditties (see: “You’ve Never Been This Far Before” and “I’ve Already Loved You in My Mind.” This song is a scandalous reverse Cinderella story, and those tight fittin’ jeans are the equivalent of a glass slipper.

“She said ‘I married money, I’m used to wearin’ pearls / But I’ve always dreamed of bein’ just a good ol’ boy’s girl / So tonight I left those crystal candle lights to live a dream / And, partner, there’s a tiger in these tight fittin’ jeans.'”

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